and now only if the amount of journal entries could be compared to the amount of new artsies I upload -_- *sigh*

it was nice of him to come back and drag me out of my downward spiral. so I didn't become the same emotionless shell as I was before, but then again...
at least it was safe and peaceful that way =/

I shouldn't be thinking that way, but it's so tough and hard going through life like this. like... well, to be honest, like normal people do.

an average day for an average person costs so much energy for me, more than normal. it makes me want to fall back into the safe arms of therapy and retarddation and insanity. just because this costs so much energy.

and then, atop of that, everything has to be so difficult lately. happiness won't just come to you, you have to fight for it with every last drop of blood you have.
and already having so little energy left because of a normal day, it's hard for me to keep my head straight and even try to achieve MORE than just that.
though, to be honest, other people could be more easier and less worryful. no, it's not their fault; just indicating that it's apparently not average happiness I am striving for. it's more complicated.
dose of my bad fucking luck.<


I wish I could just quietly and softly fall back into my insanity and emotionless state of mind as before.
to stop caring, being only selfish and ego centric.

for this really is pushing me to the edge.
(they just don't know they are doing that)


nevermind, walk on.